Mugiwara Scandal
by MochiSoda
Summary: Luffy, Franky and Brook found Zoro on the floor with bleeding head and a blonde tightly wrapped in his arms. Are the other remaining straw hat members involved too? Click to find out. No longer Oda friendly story. Enjoy :). Reviews are highly appreciated. Updated all 4 chapters.
1. Chapter 1: The Scandal

In the middle of the sea with no island and other ships on sight, a woman let out a shriek of horror which was followed by a loud crashing of woods from the galley.

Luffy, who was sitting on the figurehead to seek out a new island, turned and saw Nami running out of the room. As he hurriedly crossed the upper deck, he called her out to get a bit of her story but she kept her pace with no glance to the captain.

Knowing Nami too well, the captain could see it through her wicked grin, as she rushed to the girl's quarters, that their friends are far from danger. And now, Luffy is extremely curious if the cook had prepared a high-fat pre-dinner snack, which only happens in his dreams, that made Nami freaked out and ran away.

Driven by instinct, Luffy stretched his rubberized arms to reach the railings near the galley and slingshot himself to the door.

The captain pierced through the wood head first and tumbled along with door debris. Dust flew across the room as he stood smiling, and was about to nonchalantly ask for forgiveness when he saw something beyond the unexpected.

Luffy pursed his lips and tilted his head as he tried to understand the situation.

His first mate, Zoro, was on the floor across him and still squeezed in the crushed wall.

It was not the first time to see Zoro's head badly bleeding but not knowing that the swordsman could be overly possessive to someone, and especially to a blonde, really surprised him.

"Zoro!"

Zoro flinched. As much as he wanted to clear himself, he couldn't bare to speak. Doing his best to salvage his pride as a man, he would rather choose to be accused of a crime he never committed. Fully embracing the shame, Zoro tightly hugged the blonde and glared at the captain to mind his own business.

When Luffy couldn't get an answer from Zoro, he looked down at 3 people who were with them and had been silently watching from the floor.

The captain faced, on his left, both Usopp and Chopper who had been hugging each other. He glared at them, demanding for an explanation but they only squeaked and rapidly shook heads with horrid eyes.

In disbelief, he tightly clenched his fist and turned to Robin, expecting a more serious answer but her brows furrowed. Robin, with hands raised, attempted to enlighten the captain.

"Luffy, it's not what you think."

"What's going on?"

A raspy voice suddenly cut her off. Franky came together with Brook like parents checking on their kids and stood behind Luffy.

Upon hearing the raspy voice, the blonde weakly looked up. The blonde remembered their recent chat and with fresh bad experience, it makes sense to warn Franky but it unexpectedly sounded more like asking for help.

"Franky, it hurts."

The blonde squeakily and softly croaked.

Franky's eyes met 2 teary blue eyes and stiffened at the sight of the unfortunate blonde. Face contorted while remembering if he was acquainted with a blonde other than the cook.

Though a bit worried and confused, Franky sincerely looked at the young mysterious lady from head to foot, carefully and swiftly assessing her condition before deciding the next thing to do.

Starting from the head, she has long thick twirly locks that rests on the shoulders with long fringe that ends just above the eyes. She bit her lower lip, clearly still in pain, and leaned her head on Zoro's bicep for comfort despite his cruelty to her.

The lady's off-the-shoulder and layered floral summer dress is ruined. One of the sleeves got ripped due to Zoro's firm hold on the upper arm and the hem of the skirt at the back looks shredded. Though Zoro looked like he's marking territory on her, he unconsciously flaunts her long milky legs thanks to his other hand clutching the skirt near the ripped slit.

Very contrary to the lady's distressed plea, the lady seemed more at ease and comfortable in Zoro's arms. And their pose, a picture perfect for a crime of passion, has made Franky's throat dry.

Brook, on the other hand, couldn't imagine Zoro would do such a thing. Zoro's surprising gentlemanliness when they were on Hazard Retrieval Pink mission with Sanji is still fresh in his mind. If Sanji sees this, Brook suddenly thought, he would surely be disappointed and would definitely kill Zoro.

Then and there eyes opened though Brook doesn't have physical eyes. Sanji, who commonly stays in the galley and is always the first to provide help to a lady in distress, has been missing.

It's unbelievable to think that Sanji would transform into a woman but definitely couldn't deny the possibilities with his personal experience as the living dead. There is no mistaking that the lady is the missing cook as they both have the same eye and hair color and complexion.

Brook suddenly wondered if the cook's metamorphosis hurts more than the lost manhood. He couldn't help but guffawed at his discovery, drawing everyone's attention before pointing out.

"Where's Mr. Sanji?"

Zoro's brow twitched and Franky stunned after realizing but the captain remained clueless.

Before somebody could tell the whereabouts of the cook, Nami came back with a camera and immediately began taking pictures of the couple. Oblivious of the atmosphere, she even positioned them to get a good angle and thus, whimpers from the blonde could be heard whenever the legs were touched.

To comfort the blonde, she promised a short break from the shoot.

"Sanji-kun, just a little bit more." Nami cooed.

Watching Sanji from afar, Usopp felt guilty. He knew how the whole crime unfolded and didn't do anything. If only Sanji would act normal for at least once in his life, the cook wouldn't be in this pitiful state. He could only pray and hope that Sanji wouldn't quickly fall for the same scheme by some stranger.

Before Sanji's series of shameful events, it all began around 3 of this afternoon with a little incident that Usopp started.

Luffy and him were causing havoc like they always do, and the crew had gotten used to it except for Nami and Sanji who were always there to reprimand when they had enough.

That time, they were playing with color filled water balloons.


	2. Chapter 2: Where it all started

Balloons were fired like bullets. The desperate sniper missed again. It was difficult to aim with clothes drenched, dyed in red.

He was deeply wheezing and his arms were getting sore. It was probably due to his clothes getting heavy with water and due to his frustrations.

As expected, Luffy was too fast and too random to follow but Usopp is not the kind of person to just give up. His determination to hit Luffy with the last balloon in hand did not yield.

Chopper, who decided not to join and seeing the great gap between the two, cheered Usopp from the swing in the hopes to give him the push he needed.

And true to Chopper's wish, Usopp suddenly felt purpose. Usopp imagined himself as an mvp player in the field with a duty to fulfill the fans' happiness.

He could hear the wild imaginary cheers. His hunched back straightened with confidence and his chest tingled with a sensation he couldn't understand at that time. It felt like drums beating loudly, thrilled by the sound of the cheers.

Unable to suppress his emotions, Usopp roared his battlecry with fisting to the air. Giving it all in the cry has given him a high spirit and great motivation. To Chopper, it turned out like a promise of a good fight.

The sniper calmed himself and slowly breathed, eyeing his target as he read the movements.

All went slow even for the fast Luffy. It was as if the Sunny Go got attacked by Noro Noro no Mi user. Luffy's laughter slowly echoed in the air with Chopper's cheer in the background. When Luffy stepped, the crispy clap of the slipper on the lawn echoed loudly in Usopp's ears and vibrations creeped under the feet. Eyes dilated with a sharp breath once alarmed by the senses.

He lightly gripped the balloon and hurriedly pitched the shot. The pitch flew faster and more accurately than before and almost took Luffy by surprise.

Luckily, Luffy's reflexes managed to twist and bend his body backwards, grazing only the ear while Chopper, the unsuspecting bystander, suddenly felt a cold rubbery flesh melting on his face before hearing a pop.

Chopper screeched. His precious brown fur turned green. He trembled and tears formed that recoiled Usopp.

Luffy's heart stung and felt responsible too. But instead of sympathizing, Luffy wore the widest smile and patted Chopper's back, like how he remembers big brother Ace did it to him.

"If you use your guard point, you'll look like a big marimo. Zoro would be pleased."

Luffy, who tried to turn things in an optimistic way, continued to tease which only made Chopper flare more. Though Chopper knew that it was an accident, he surely wanted a pay back.

He held a hoof up in front of Luffy. "Luffy!" and with just a name, Luffy understood and eagerly handed him a balloon. As soon as the balloon landed on the hoof, Chopper quickly and sloppily threw it at Usopp.

It made a slow upward-long projectile motion that Usopp didn't need to duck to dodge it. All eyes followed the balloon until it hit a man. Clangs of forks and tray and breaking of plates and glasses were heard.

The cook stood there for a moment, staring at the wasted food, with his back facing the kids. There is nothing more to do aside from disappointed head shakes and sighs.

Somehow fortunate, Sanji was not wearing his usual coat and tie due to summer heat. Only his dress shirt took the damage. When Sanji touched the wet part, there were reddish tint stains on the fingertips. Then he wondered, as he rubbed the fingertips, if the stain would be easy to remove.

Sanji let out a breath again before tapping around the pockets for cigarettes. He lit it in his mouth and took a drag. Then he hid the hands in the trouser pockets and turned around to face the kids.

Scanning their faces, one was avoiding his eyes, the small one cried and the other had a long nose. They were too readable. He knew immediately who the culprits were but he wanted the kids to come clean and confess.

"Who among you made me throw away the food?"

"No one. You did."

Luffy quickly replied in a philosophical manner.

"What?" Sanji snarled but was distracted when he heard chuckling and heavy boots climbing down the stairs.

"Not a word, Marimo-kun. Not now."

"Is that tomato on your shirt?" Zoro teasingly remarked despite Sanji's warning.

"What part of not a word didn't you understand? Moron!" Sanji yelled.

"Did they finally have enough and threw tomatoes at you?"

After continuously puffing smoke like an old model train, Sanji replied calmly but was unable to hide the rage in his eyes.

"No, the tomato got lost just like you."

"Who would be lost in their own ship?"

"Then what the hell are you doing there?"

"Can't I roam around?"

Sanji's hair stood up and hardly bit on the cigarette as he asked.

"Near the lady's quarters?"

"I'm not a pervert like you." Zoro smirked.

"Who are you calling pervert?!"

Sanji snapped. It must be Zoro's arrogance that ticks his nerves. Or maybe not. Mere presence already annoys Sanji and what more in hearing that baritone voice.

Heavy thud of leather to metal. Picture the same old antics from these two rivals; two swords crossed and a foot against it. Zoro pushed the foot away forcing Sanji to do somersault. Not wasting any seconds, he moved forward following cartwheeling Sanji with arms spread like scorpion ready to attack. When Sanji successfully made a bit of distance, he kicked the floor. Like an eagle, he shadowed over Zoro while rapidly flipping his body to create enough momentum to break through Zoro's hard shell.

Chills felt down the spine. A challenge Zoro has been seeking from the cook for days. His heart pumped with adrenaline, anticipating the big blow but then his face suddenly frowned from excitement. The swordsman felt uneasy and the vibe was not coming from the cook.

Zoro's unusual behaviour caught Sanji off guard. Zoro usually faced anything head on but he was lowering his arms, stepping backwards and irritated like forced to surrender.

With such little time to change the momentum, Sanji drilled his foot on the lawn floor, creating a hole.

"What the hell?"

Sanji barked at Zoro but the attention was nowhere near him. Curious, the cook followed Zoro's gaze and saw 2 goddesses peering down from heaven. In his imagination, they were glowing with halos at the back of their heads.

The cook laid his eyes on Nami with awe like it was his first meeting her. He touched his chest with such admiration for her beauty. He could feel the heart pounding, and heat rising from the core, burning the neck and ears like wildfire.

Sanji gasped with cheeks flushed. To him, even the goddess has mercy on him. If Nami wasn't glaring down at them with killing intent, he might have died of a heart attack and blood lost. Sanji thought it was sweet of her to temporarily spoil her beauty for his sake.

"Sanji, do you have any idea on what you just did?" Nami spoke with cheek resting on the palm and fingers tapping on the cap rail.

Sanji drove his hands on his hips and tapped the floor with his foot while looking down, searching for clues. He just fought with Zoro and it's nothing unusual that may concern Nami. Then he remembered the tray and sweat drops formed on his temple.

Sanji touched his nape and asked them to excuse him. "Ahh. I'm sorry Nami-san, Robin-chan. Just got a little accident on the way. Please bear with me for a bit. I'll prepare the snacks right away."

Sanji immediately bowed down for forgiveness and dismissal and immediately picked up the tray. Then he glanced at the kids, only two left with Luffy gone. Though a bit disappointed, he asked the kids to help him clean up the mess.

"Sanji. I'm not done yet."

Sanji's ears twitched. It was uncommon for Nami to ask for more. Days of showing his love have finally paid off. He might now have a bigger chance of winning the lady's heart.

Sanji shifted back to Nami, dancing in excitement with a smile and sang.

"Yes? Nami-swan..."

"Do you know how much an Adam wood costs?"

Sanji suddenly pictured Nami in a lascivious business suit, seated cross-legged with elbows rested on a black tall leather wingback armchair and a tobacco clipped in her fingers.

But it was not the time to fool around, so Sanji peeked at Zoro from the corner of his eyes and noticed him gulped. He knows how big Zoro's debt is and his budget for new refrigerator with lock is on the line too.

"I'm sorry Nami-san. I know that it is expensive but I have no idea how much. May I help the ladies and ask Franky about it?"

"Nevermind. To be honest, I'm having a crisis and so I came here with a business proposal to both of you."

"Don't involve me in your monkey business."

Zoro immediately rejected the idea which made Sanji reactively scold Zoro for his rudeness, but Nami doesn't actually care as long as she could push Zoro in her way.

"That's not the way to talk to her. moron!"

"When was the last time you paid me? Let me help you by helping me." Nami spoke abruptly, trying to diminish the potential fight between the two.

"Nami-san, don't worry about him. If Zoro doesn't want to, I'm here at your service." Sanji kneeled down like a knight waiting for his queen to give him the recognition and honor.

"That won't do. Zoro, you need to be part of this. Be a responsible adult." Zoro noticed Nami gripped on the rails but he is not going to be bothered by it.

"I'll pay you on my own terms."

"I don't think you could fully pay me in your lifetime with that kind of attitude. Maybe I should cut down or strip your budget for liquor." Nami smiled maliciously.

Zoro could tell Nami is up to no good. Any business she does favored her greatly and less to them. Even if he helped her, his fate would never release him from debt.

Sanji couldn't understand Zoro when dealing with the ladies and his patience on the matter is growing thin like his cigar. For no matter how stubborn Zoro could be, in the end, he wouldn't let down a friend in need.

Sanji scoldingly glared at Zoro, telling him to just stop and deal with it but Zoro deflected him with a stoic face. Neither one of them blinked nor at least looked away as both tried to convey their message telepathically.

Nami sighed as she watched the two standoff silently. Funny how the two could communicate with no words even though they are always at each other's necks.

Nami wishes to do the same. She would have been at least working on the project by now if only she could easily convey what she wanted. And, the only thing she wanted is the cooperation from the two.

"Guys stop please. This is a serious matter. We are running out of budget and it will be hard to maintain this ship soon. I've run out of things to sell and it's not like we always get gold from the islands we visit. Zoro, I get it. You only follow Luffy's orders but if you want to make him happy, better do something. You know how much Luffy enjoys food." Nami pointed her finger at Zoro after she mentioned follow and then pokes the air for emphasis in "do something".

Zoro clicked his tongue, continuously arguing with them would just be a pain in the ass. It wasn't worth the effort. With that, Nami knew he got Zoro.

"Nami-san, what do we need to do?" Sanji asked.

"Or better, what kind of business are you trying to pull?" Zoro butted in, folding his arms in the process.

Nami nodded and explained her plan.

"Sanji, remember the pictures used for your rehabilitation on the way to Fishman Island?"

Sanji unconsciously stretched his nostrils and steamed out heat. Sanji giggled with hearts fleeting around him, which made Robin chuckle.

"It's as if it was only yesterday. Nami-san's gorgeous pictures and Robin-chan's cutest smiles are still vividly clear." And, the dreamy Sanji continued to drift away.

"What of it?" Zoro coldly asked, getting impatient with Sanji's antics.

"Simply saying, we sold them to our patrons then business boomed."

Sanji couldn't believe his ears and exclaimed "what?!", but Nami ignored the side comment and eyed Zoro as she continued to explain.

"It was one of our great sources of income but recently the sales drastically dropped. Maybe we just need new faces. So I'm asking you two to be my models."

"Why didn't you say so?"

Nami facepalmed at Zoro's lit face. Who would have thought he could be this conceited.

"Don't get so full of yourself. You'll look like a squid when you're with me. You're nothing but muscles, muscle head." Sanji, also a conceited man, added his cent.

"If you say you're handsome, why hide half of it? and who would want a skinny? so plain. No wonder I'm needed."

"That's what you call style and I've got abs." Sanji angrily pulled out his dress shirt, displaying his toned abs while tapping them.

The two continued to spurt out nonsense and bragged their good looks and sex appeal. While the ladies ogle at the free show, Nami expressed her exhaustion and stress.

"These two are too much to handle."

Robin smiled in response and soothingly caressed Nami's back.

"I know. Almost everyone is."

And Nami exhaled contently for having someone understand her.

"I envy you sometimes for being always calm."

Then she turned her attention back to the brutes.

"Okay stop it you two. We need to start right away. Today will be Sanji's. So Sanji please clean up and shave your mustache and goatee. Then let's meet up in the galley."

Sanji looked hesitant after a few seconds of hearing the shave but that quickly changed after Nami put on her puppy eyes.

"Anything for you Nami-san." Sanji excitedly said while doing heart shape using his arms before twirling his way out.

Then she noticed Usopp and Chopper, who were busy cleaning up the shards, and asked them to meet up in the galley too.

"So there's no need for me then?" Zoro asked while yawning and scratching his back. Nami gave him a confused and questioning look. She thought her instruction was clear.

"Wait for my orders in the galley."

Zoro doesn't like to be told what to do, especially if it meant waiting but he has no choice. He grumpily went to the galley and sat alone at the dining table.

Silence and boredom made his eyelids heavy and soon he was found deeply snoring with his head slumped on the table.


	3. Chapter 3: The Shriek

A mischievous cold sweaty hand suddenly thought, it's time to wake Zoro. It caringly tapped and shook his face but, Zoro feeling sleepy and sluggish, only groaned and found himself drifting back to sleep.

The hand persistently continued with its task but it seems simple annoyance will not work on him. Strong force, like a kick in the head, would quickly and definitely wake up this beast but, instead, the thumb gently ran across the cheeks then to the ridge and down to the tip of the nose then clings to the lower lip, parting a bit.

The weirdness and pervertedness of the hand had creeped him out. He was sure that it was Sanji who found a new way to piss him off. To end Sanji's act so he could get back to sleep, he grabbed hold of the hand, intimidatingly pulled the person and opened his eyes glaring.

Two big rounded blue eyes. They were beautiful like gems that came out of the ocean. There is no swirl. Just two rounded eyes. Zoro realized the situation; startled, released the hand and backed a bit. He immediately apologized and looked away for a moment before meeting those eyes again.

It was a surprise to see a new face, and It was a relief to see her change expressions from shock to a relaxed smile. It also made him embarrassed. He couldn't hide his blushing but he didn't dare to look away from her until Nami broke the ice.

"You do realize that it's Sanji, right?"

Zoro's eyes popped with mouth wide open which gave Sanji a new taunt. And before they could start bickering, Nami guided them to work.

"Sanji, we don't want to ruin your makeup. right? And Zoro, it's now your time to help. Sanji, sit down here on the floor. Zoro, I need you to hold Sanji tight. Come here Usopp, Chopper."

Nami handed out big long strips of sticky paper to Usopp, Chopper and Robin. Then Nami crouched down and pulled up the skirt which made Sanji act like a girl; holding onto the skirt to prevent Nami from seeing his underwear.

Blushing, stuttering and avoiding eyes to meet, Sanji warned her in a shy girly hoarse voice.

"Na-Nami-san, m-my heart is not ready yet."

Zoro snorted and to make things go fast, he pulled the skirt and made Sanji moan in protest.

Nami sneered.

"Hold him tight. We'll be quick. Everyone, cover his legs with paper and pull it off together at the count of 3"

"Together?" Sanji whimpered.

"Don't worry. With a body like yours, it would only feel like ant bites."

"But ant bites hurt." Sanji pleaded.

"Will you do it for me? please. I'll give you something you've been wanting for a long time" Nami winked.

It's a man's weakness. Any man would melt whoever experienced Nami's seductiveness except those with strong constitutions. Poor Sanji, he sold his soul to the devil.

"At the count of three. one. two. three" and everyone strippped. It stung like hell. Sanji may have strong legs but at this moment, the leg hairs are his Achilles' foot.

Sanji screamed like a girl in excruciating pain. Many times he has experienced burns from cooking but this pain is on a different level. The pain stays as if thousands of little needles simultaneously pricking. Not thinking straight, he tried to stand up to run away from it but Zoro held him too tight. He ended up stepping on the skirt, tearing it in the process and skidding until they crashed into the wall.

After the shoot, Zoro had to princess carry Sanji, who was covering his face in shame, to the infirmary. Both had their wounds treated and both decided in silence to early end the day with sleeping. Zoro even took care of Sanji, taking his wig off and bringing him a change of clothes. It was a long day for both of them and both are wary of tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4: The Ending

Sanji woke up, moved his body like clockwork and went to the galley. His mind drifted only to cook breakfast and nothing of what had happened yesterday. He twisted the door knob and widened the fixed door. The lights were not open when he entered the room but it was well lit enough to see the enormous lady waiting for him inside.

The sexy black halter high slit maxi dress, she was wearing, has emphasized greatly her curves and scary muscular build. Despite the masculinity, she radiated her feisty seductive charm through wavy long brown hair, covering one eye with side fringe, and luscious red lips. Her eyeglasses gave her a smart look. A total package of brawns and brains.

He felt different upon seeing her. She is different from all the women he met. He had never felt such an authoritarian glow. He was willing to follow her anywhere in this ship and be tortured for pleasure. Just a word and he will follow her. It is truly a love at first sight.

Then the lady lashed the whip. Sanji did not expect this. It was too much for him. He was shaking with excitement that his knees gave way. Then she approached him slowly. Every step she took felt heavy. So heavy that he was hyperventilating.

When she was in front of him, she bent down and reached his chin with the whip. She kissed his temple and Sanji closed eyes savoring every second to memory. Then Sanji felt a tug from the necktie. He assumed that it was a signal to do more. He unbuttoned the coat and was about to advance on her when she suddenly laughed so hard. A weird laugh. A manly laugh. His fantasy turned into a nightmare.

"Are you that desperate?" Zoro taunted.

"Good job! you guys." Nami showed her presence from the shadows, holding a camera.

"As promised…" And before she could finish, Sanji began to run away and wailed. You could faintly hear Luffy from the background calling his name.

"Did we go overboard?"

"He'll be fine" Zoro snickered and waved his hand in front of him, saying don't mind him.

Nami shrugged, saying.

"Looks like I'm going to be the cook again."

The project became a success. Some, somehow, recognized the models from the pictures. Some are requesting more but with a good sum of funds, the crew doesn't need to reply immediately to the patrons.

After a few days of fame, they returned to their normal life. Sanji could be seen delivering snacks. With one hand holding the tray, he climbed the crow's nest with ease. He popped his head to check on Zoro and saw Zoro with a towel around the neck, sitting on the floor with back towards him.

Sanji sneaked in and was about to give Zoro a kick in the head when Zoro suddenly sighed. Sanji peeped to read his mood and saw him looking at their photo. It was a photo of him in dress while Zoro hugging him in an erotic way. Emotions of embarrassment, disgust and confusion surged Sanji.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Sanji exclaimed and snatched the photo.

Zoro turned to Sanji, not even surprised and calmly asked.

"Can I have that back?"

"Did you pay for this?!" shaking the photo, almost crumpling it.

Zoro darted and grabbed Sanji's hand to stop him from further damaging the photo.

Sanji tried to take his hand back but couldn't get out of the grasp as he was balancing the tray.

Zoro whispered "What is it to you?".

Sanji shivered as the Zoro's breath brushed his ear and shrilled in disgust. He kicked Zoro away and at the same time placed the tray to the bench. They looked like doing tango before Zoro could pull Sanji to air too. They both landed on the floor with Sanji on top of Zoro. While Zoro is knocked down on the floor, Sanji quickly escaped the room.

Zoro stayed on the floor, reflecting.

"Did he think that I was looking at him?"


End file.
